I mean, this is a game that gives you options like 'observe showering lesbians', it has perpetually shagging automatons on every other street corner, along with the most inept voice-acting and English translation that you can humanly imagine ("You want some trouble with my father's son?"). It's crap, it's wrong, it's as sexy as placing a dead fish in your mouth and slowly pulling it in and out so the scales get stuck between your teeth - but it's still better than watching World's Wildest Police Chases with Sheriff John Bunnell. It harnesses your attention in the same way that all ten minutes of Michelle from Big Brother decked out in cheap purple underwear staring slack-jawed into the camera on the midnight freeview on Television X might do. There's Something oddly compelling about Lula 3D.
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